Creating Intentional Joy in Your Life

Over the years I have learned that, when it comes to most parts of my life, I am the maker of my own happiness. While I would love for my family to clean the house without me asking (just once!) or receive an impromptu bouquet of flowers from my partner, I find that if I wait on other people to make me happy, most days are kind of ho-hum. This doesn’t mean that I don’t find joy from the people around me. I absolutely do! But I also know that there are many small ways that only I can make my cumulative days better. And I do that by adding in some intentional joy.

What is Intentional Joy?

I define Intentional Joy as actions I take that make me feel truly happy. Sometimes this means happiness in the moment, like picking up a bouquet of sunflowers at the grocery store or taking a break from the daily grind to wander about my flower garden. Other times Intentional Joy can be doing something for myself that I believe will bring me happiness over the long term. This includes things like regular physical activity, giving myself time to journal each day, keeping my space clean and clutter free, or working toward a personal or professional goal. Each time I create a new piece of content for Mabon House, I file it under Intentional Joy; because even if I don’t feel like writing or doing some design work in that very moment, I know that seeing the finished results WILL bring joy - to myself and my readers.

Sometimes intentional joy shows up as chores, exercise, the apple instead of the cookie (or the cookie instead of the apple). Other times it is take-out for one and a generous glass of wine to celebrate a win at work or other personal accomplishment. For me intentional joy is doing something that I know will make me feel better -sometimes in the moment, other times in the long run. It is about taking time to get clear on how I want to feel in my life and taking steps to feel that way as often as possible.

WHAT DOES YOUR BEST DAY LOOK LIKE?

What does your best day look like?  I don’t mean what kind of house you’d live in or the type of car you’d drive if you won the lottery. I mean what would your current real life look like if you were living your purpose and finding happiness and abundance each and every day? What would you be doing?  How would each day fulfill you?  What kind of intentional joy would show up from day to day? Because, ultimately, that’s your goal – to create a life you love more often than not. To find joy in the small spaces, as well as the big events.   

How Are You Spending Your Time?

One of the big problems with building in Intentional Joy, is that it can feel like there isn’t enough time in a day to do all the things you’d like to do.

But lack of time doesn’t have to hold you back from creating some intentional joy in your life. I’m here to say to you, as a kindred spirit, No one is going to give your permission to take time for yourself. You have to TAKE it.

Start making your self care a priority in your schedule. Carve out as much time as you need - no matter if that means half an hour or half a day. Give yourself time to do the things that will make you feel better and bring you joy. This may require letting go of things that don’t serve you (i.e. doom-scrolling before bed every night). You may need to ask for help (can your spouse make dinner and put the kids to bed, so you can have an hour of quiet, once a week?).  If life is feeling stagnant, it’s time to get out of your comfort zone/regular routine and shake things up a bit.

Create Your Own Joy

Here is a fun exercise. Find one hour (or more) this week, to do something that will bring you some Intentional Joy. This could be planning a special Ostara meal, creating some spring-themed DIY projects or decor, trying a new beauty routine, reading a new book or simply writing in your journal. Whatever you decide to do, it should be Joyful - not time consuming or complicated. Spend it with your family or friends, if that makes you happy. Or spend solo, if that makes you happy. Mark that time off on your calendar and commit to doing something just for yourself.  This small practice is something you can start to do a on a regular basis, to loosen the reigns of a rigid schedule and invite more joy into your everyday.

January Favorites

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Happy 2021! It’s hard to believe another year is upon us. Here are some things I am loving this month, including some favorites for winter beauty and skin care, fashion and free wellness resources.

Rose Hip Oil

The older I get, the faster my skin dries out in the winter. To help it feel more hydrated and dewy, I love Rose Hip Oil. I am currently using Pearlessence Rose Hip Oil with Vitamin C. I apply it in the morning and evenings, under my regular moisturizer.

Yoga With Adrienne

To combat long hours sitting at my desk, I like to break up the day with some gentle yoga, because I can do it right at home, no fancy equipment needed and it’s free! One of my favorites is Yoga with Adrienne on Youtube, which offers hundreds of different yoga videos, from beginner to advanced. I especially like this 16 minute Yoga for Flexibility video, to do after a long day of computer work.

ThredUp

One of the things I’ve missed most during the Pandemic is thrift shopping. I love finding a good deal! ThredUp takes thrift shopping and consignment shopping to a whole new level. I have used this online consignment and thrift store for the past year and saved hundreds of dollars. Currently about 80% of my regular wardrobe is from ThredUp. Shopping secondhand online can be a bit overwhelming, so I wrote a whole post about how I find great deals on ThredUp.

One of my recent orders from ThredUp

My New Humidifier

My house is bone dry in the winter, thanks to a woodstove and forced hot air heating, so adding in extra moisture is a must. I’ve had the same humidifier for years, and when it died unexpectedly a few days ago, I picked up this model from Vicks. My favorite part is that unlike my old humidifier, this one provides consistent and long lasting moisture - as in, the whole night - no refills needed!

How I Shop on ThredUp - and find great deals!

One of my favorite places to shop online is the second hand fashion site, ThredUp.  At first I was nervous about buying second hand clothes online, but after my first order I was hooked. The quality of the items and low prices were better than anything I could find locally. 

I live in a rural area and the clothes in our local thrift stores and consignment shops don’t offer a lot of variety, sizes or brands. There’s a lot of Wal-Mart and Old Navy clothing available and that’s about it.  Meanwhile, ThredUp offers ALL.THE.BRANDS. 

Just like in-person thrift shopping, online consignment shopping requires some strategy and skill to find the best deals. Here is how I use ThredUp to refresh my wardrobe each season. 

Several Thred-Up Items I bought over the past few months.

Start With a List 

While sometimes it’s fun to poke around and window shop online, I find this loosey-goosey approach leads to impulse buys of items I don’t really need or won’t actually wear.  So when I decide it’s time for a wardrobe refresh, I make a list of items that I need or want. While I may end up buying things not on the list, just like in a brick and mortar store, going in with some sort of plan generally keeps me focused and saves me money and time. 

Use the ThredUp Filters

 Thred Up has thousands of items. Literally, thousands. You could spend days sifting through all the available clothes and accessories. As someone who does not want to spend all day on anything, let alone shopping, I use the filters Thred Up provides to drill down to the items that I would be most interested in.  The filters I regularly include include:  

Size 

Depending on the brand of clothing, sizes can differ widely.  Generally more higher end items run much smaller than larger brands like Old Navy or Sonoma. So I select my main size, US XLarge and will go a size down and size up. This means my filter includes items that are listed as large, XLarge, and XXL/1x.  This ensures I get a good variety of choices for any items. 

A note about sizing up: For the longest time I avoided ever sizing up a dress size. As part of lifelong conditioning by the Western Toxic Diet Culture, I believed if I bought a size bigger than I thought I should be, I was conceding defeat and losing the battle to shrink my body.  For years I squeezed into medium dress sizes, telling myself that they would fit better when I just lost that last 5,10, 15 pounds. As a mid-sized woman, not only was I hella uncomfortable, it reinforced the idea that my body was something to be berated and hated and that if I wasn’t actively trying to shrink it or reshape it, I was lazy and undisciplined.  When I finally decided to jump off the diet wagon once and for all, I began buying clothes that actually fit me and were comfortable. Sometimes that is a size large, or, depending on the brand, an XLarge or even a 1x.  The sizes are simply guidelines for my body. They are not measurements of my worth as a person. 

Condition ( aka Wear & Tear) 

Thred Up gives you four conditions - Like New With Tags, Excellent, Good and Fair. I usually select Like New and Excellent. Most often I find that the prices on Good and Fair items are too high, for purchasing something that looks and feels second hand.  My exception to this rule is anything made of leather, because worn leather often looks better than new, and jeans, especially levi’s. Because broken-in jeans are the best, imo. 

Brand

I choose brands that I know will fit me well.  Many higher end brands, which I wouldn’t buy anyway, run really small. For example, an extra large from Tory Burch brand has a 34 inch chest! Brands I regularly buy on Thred Up include Ann Taylor Loft, Gap, Old Navy, Daisy Fuentes, Land’s End, LL Bean, Levi’s, and Apartment 9.   I feel like these brands fit most average sized women. 

Price

Just because ThredUp is a second hand clothing site doesn’t mean everything on it is cheap. It carries a wide range of high end fashion items that run into the hundreds of dollars. And while it may delight many shoppers to find such good deals on brands like xx or xx, my tastes run a bit more beer and burgers. I usually set the filter for under $50 for outwear, shoes and jeans and under $25 for everything else. This lower price point still gives me more than enough options to choose from! 

Color

I love this feature because it allows me to weed out any items that are in the wrong color. Generally, I wear the same palette of colors through most of the year.  This includes pink, coral (so I select orange in the ThredUp filter) yellow, green, black, white and blue.  I avoid purple, because it is not a color that I usually like to wear. Same with brown and gray, as they tend to wash me out. And while I like the color red, unless I am shopping for a holiday outfit, I tend to skip it. You can also filter by pattern or solid. 

Fabric

I usually filter fabric depending on the type of item I am looking for. For example, for summer dresses I like a lighter, breathable fabric like cotton versus wool or polyester. For worktops I prefer Rayon because they don’t wrinkle. 

So there you have it. A complete beginner’s guide to shopping on ThredUp! If you’d like some fashion inspiration to help you get started, especially if you are mid-sized or plus-sized, be sure to check out my fashion boards on Pinterest.