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The iris is considered a symbol of wisdom. Photo credit from Unsplash.

Recently I had a full-on meltdown over something that, in the grand scheme of things, really wasn’t a catastrophe. It was just an inconvenience—one of those small life disruptions that means you have to wait a little longer or change your plans. But my nervous system reacted as if I was being chased by a tiger. Within minutes I had imagined several worst-case scenarios, each one more dramatic than the last, with my despair growing by the minute.

As I sat with my feelings (or rather laid on the couch sobbing with them), I realized two things: I was being a bit dramatic, and I hadn’t had this kind of anxious overreaction in quite some time. I started thinking about that. Why were normal inconveniences suddenly making me feel like the sky was falling?

For most of my life, overreacting and catastrophizing were pretty familiar habits. But over the past couple of years I had been so preoccupied with other responsibilities that I didn’t really have the time or energy to spiral about every little thing. My focus had to stay on the task in front of me. Without realizing it, that structure had acted like guardrails for my anxieties and emotions. Now, with more space in my days and fewer immediate demands on my attention, those old worrying tendencies suddenly had room to creep back in.

Eventually I peeled myself off the couch and started a load of laundry. Then I washed the dishes that were piled in the sink. Then I made a pan of brownies. And somewhere along the way, I started to feel better. Distracting myself with a few simple tasks pulled me out of my spiral. The situation hadn’t changed, but my ability to shelve it for the time being had.

While I still have moments of anxiety and overreaction, I realized I’m much better at recognizing these types of pattern than I used to be. And that recognition — the ability to see what’s happening while it’s happening — feels like a kind of wisdom I didn’t always have. It made me think about how as women, we move through different seasons of life, sometimes described as the Maiden, Mother, and Crone and with each season comes a different perspective.

Was I more fully entering my own Crone Era?

The Crone and the Triple Goddess Archetype

The idea of the Maiden, Mother, and Crone is often referred to as the Triple Goddess and aligns with the different moon phases and represents all the stages of womanhood. It highlights the power of the feminine and no matter your age or maternal status, you can look to the Triple Goddess for guidance, inspiration and comfort.

The Maiden

The Maiden is represented by the new moon. It focuses on youth, curiosity and new beginnings. Tapping into your inner Maiden can help you learn who you are. It can encourage exploration and independence.

The Mother

The Mother is represented by the full moon. Fertility is an obvious association with this archetype, along with creation, responsibility and nurturing.

The Crone

The Crone is represented by the waning moon. This is associated with aging, wisdom, discernment and letting go of what no longer serves you. I am not sure if is because I am in the early stages of my own Crone era that I feel this - but it is a time connect with yourself and live more authentically.

All three goddess archetypes can coexisit within any woman. You may opt to tap into your Inner maiden when exploring something new. Or, like me, you find yourself pausing to listen to your inner Crone and the wisdom she offers. When you show care and concern of others, your Mother archetype shines through.

The Cultural Fear of the Crone

It is no secret that our culture does not like aging women. Youth and beauty are valued far more than age and wisdom. The word “crone” is associated with old, haggard women - think of the evil queen in Snow White when she transforms into the old woman. She is jealous of Snow White’s beauty and seeks to harm her. This is a pretty good analogy of how we are conditioned to think of any woman who has the audacity to age, disagree, or go against the cultural grain.

Contrast this cultural fear with the spiritual side of the Crone. Intuition, insight, truth-telling, boundaries and independence are areas that many women (raises hand) tap into as they get older. A woman who has walked through enough in life that they begin to see things clearly.

For example, I have dealt with general anxiety disorder my whole adult life. Previously I might have spriraled for days. But because I was willing to sit with my feelings, rather than distract myself with unhealthy coping like couch rotting while watching tiktoks, I was able to interrupt a familiar pattern. I like to think I paused and listened to my inner Crone - that voice that said “Hey there, unless you figure out a way to deal with this, you are going to spend the second half of your life just as consumed with useless worry as the first half. Why don’t you just chill for a minute…”

Growth doesn’t mean we stop struggling. it means we become better at seeing what’s happening, while it’s happening. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve worried incessantly over something that turned out to be nothing.

Ways to Honor the Crone Within

Listen to your experience and trust what you’ve learned from life.
Notice patterns and ask yourself “Have I been here before? What happened last time?”
Slow down instead of reacting. Take some deep breaths and remember that the Crone observes before acting.
Create space for reflection by journaling, walking or spending time in nature. This is an example of my absolute favorite style of journal that I’ve been using for years.
Share wisdom by mentoring, storytelling, writing, creating. I think creating art in some fashion is one of the best ways to connect with yourself, quiet your mind and stay in the present. And I think art is for everyone. If your looking for a creative outlet to get your started, this Goddess Coloring book is a fun and relaxing way to express yourself and learn more about the power of the divine feminine.

The Crone Era Isn’t the End of the Story

The Crone era is full of growth and opportunity. It coincides with perimenopause/menopause, which is referred to as a second spring in some cultures. While the Crone still makes mistakes (raises hand again), she is wise enough to admit it, learn from it, and hopefully not repeat it. The Crone doesn’t have life figured out. She just knows that most stroms eventually pass.

My meltdown wasn’t a failure. It wasn’t a red flag that I am emotionally broken. It was proof of growth. I noticed a pattern and changed course. maybe the Crone isn’t a woman who never falls apart. Maybe she’s the woman who knows how to put herself back together again. Or better yet, she knows how to build herself into something even better.

How does your inner Crone help you?